Okay, so here’s a list of dating strategies, and my opinion on how each one is likely to work out for you. Some of these I’ve tested personally, and some I didn’t need to. Some are still on my to-do list.
1. Dating your OLD sweetheart: They were your old sweetheart for a reason…sometimes it just isn't a good idea to go back there again. Our minds work like this: We remember the good things and forget the bad. My old sweetheart was a man from college days. We reconnected about 8 months after my separation from my husband. It was great. He is a wonderful man. He is also a police officer and took his role into our relationship. Always afraid of loosing me, he was very possessive and that was a deal breaker for me. I already had a controlling ex- husband….I wasn't going there again!
2. Dating the one who falls madly in love with you immediately: Remember, that even though we are in a new cycle of life…we shouldn't let our hormones take complete control of our common sense. After dating this guy for 6 weeks he told me he loved me and wanted to move in with me and my kids. Danger! Danger! Granted the chemistry was amazing but there were indeed several things that were annoying about him. Once my hormones settled down and I could get beyond all of the flattery, I could see straight again.
3. Dating someone with a bipolar ex wife: Now that was interesting. He and I connected in so many ways! I was very attracted to him and the conversations always flowed. Whenever he felt himself getting too close to me he would run and hide for awhile. After being divorced for 7yrs. you would assume that he would be somewhat back together again. However, his own baggage was getting in the way of him being able to jump start his own life.
4. Dating the other divorced dads in your small town: Need I say more? Think outside your comfort zone. Take a class in wine tasting/cooking, join a health club, or take up a new hobby like golf in another city. There are several very nice divorced dads in my community. They are terrific men but too close for comfort. Their ex’s also live in the same town!
5. Dating and his/your Kids: How many kids do I have to raise? If you find the ideal man for you, what about the kids? My kids are working their way out of the house. Do I really want to go through the teenage years again? I enough grey hairs. And if that isn't a problem, I only had 2 kids…what if he has 3? Now we are talking about the Brady Bunch. Kids are a huge part of the equation. Trying to create a blended family has its own issues. Can the two of you make it all work?
6. Dating the much younger man: Oh yes, this can be VERY nice. Until he opens his mouth.
7. Dating the older man: This could work. I love men with grey hair. As long as they don’t want to sit in a rocking chair. I am not anywhere near that. I am getting rid of my kids (whom I love very much) and am ready to go play.
8. Dating online: (See number 2), that is how I met the one that thought he was madly in love with me after 6 weeks. I admit it. I tried online dating for a short time. Read the profiles, they all sound the same. “I love long walks on the beach, sitting by the fire with my soul mate drinking wine, and long weekend getaways.” Where is the originality in that? Who doesn't like those things? We are all lonely, sex starved, and still believe in finding true love that is endless. Are we still teenagers? Oh that's right, go back to number 1 on my list. We remember the good things and forget reality. We are all guilty of it, me included. Too often with online dating an individual doesn't look like they did in that picture they posted online from 20 years ago. I have to admit, I don't like my pictures at all. I think to myself, do I really look like that? Maybe I’ll post the picture of my favorite pet instead. Yeah, that will work.
My list is nowhere complete. I am hoping to meet my prince before the list becomes its’ own novel.
